DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
BEULAH - A Sanctuary For The Abused ******** Read Me First Disclaimer. ********
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MY EXPERIENCE WITH ABUSE
I was 21 years old when I met my abuser. The year was 1996. It wasn’t until 2009 before I was able to finally get away. So, I stayed for 13 years before getting the courage to fully break away. This is the story about my experience with abuse. It was not my first marriage. I was married before, for four years. My first marriage was pretty typical; just two people who grew apart and got bored and lonely; He cheated and I invested every ounce of my being into my kids. So, when my abuser came into my life,…
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ARE YOU IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
DISCLAIMER AND WARNING If you fear for your life and fear that your abuser would attempt to kill you for researching the subject of domestic violence, then get off of your computer NOW! Erase your browser history and anything else that you can think of. Leave no trace of ARE YOU IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP? This does not mean that you cannot or that you should not do your research. Please, just use a friend or family members computer or a public library computer. Never bring brochures, fliers or business cards into your car or home that have to do…
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THE 4 PHASES OF ABUSE
An excerpt from the book, Broken and Battered by Muriel Canfield, states that the National Woman Abuse Prevention Project reports that there are three predictable stages/phases of abuse. In my relationship, there were 4 phases of abuse. Based on the book, Broken and Battered, The three phases are: tension building phase, acts of violence phase and honeymoon phase. Tension Building Phase: In this phase, your attacker will be stressed or angry with you, the children or their boss–or situations not having to do with you at all. Either way, the victim gets blamed for the abuser’s problems. It doesn’t matter…
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WHAT IS CONSIDERED ABUSE?
What is considered abuse? Based on the book Broken and Battered by Muriel Canfield, she states that abuse is an assault on ones mind or body meant to make another comply to the attackers’ will. The assault can be physical, sexual, verbal, or psychological, financial or spiritual. PHYSICAL ABUSE This is the most well known of the abuses and most of the time the only one truly acknowledged. The web defines it as: Physical abuse is abuse involving contact intended to cause feelings of intimidation, injury, or other physical suffering or bodily harm. Types of physical abuse are taken…
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AN ESCAPE PLAN
If you are ready to escape from your attacker/abuser, this is escape plan is no guarantee that you will be successful. This is just a tool with suggestions which I find useful based on my experiences. 1. Be determined to go when you go. Resolve that this is the real deal and that there is no turning back. 2. Never threaten him and tell him that you are going to leave. Business as usual…then GO! 3. In case you will not have access to your home any longer, make copies of all legal documents before leaving and hide them…
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AN ACTION PLAN
This safety plan will not ensure that you are not going to be a victim of domestic violence. You should be on the defense though, and have a plan in place to be the most on guard and ready to take action in the event of a domestic dispute. 1. Have 911 on speed dial. Train your children how to use the 911 system. If it is feasible, go in and talk with the dispatchers at your local police department and introduce them to your children. If you are divorced and your children have visitation with the abuser, teach them…
